Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

Connect

For couples who want to move out of painful cycles
and build a secure, lasting bond.

When Connection Feels Fragile

You might be here because:

  • Conversations escalate quickly

  • You feel misunderstood or unseen

  • Conflict keeps looping without resolution

  • Trust has been damaged

  • Emotional distance has grown

  • One of you feels anxious while the other pulls away

Underneath these struggles is usually something deeper, a pattern neither of you intended to create.

Couples therapy helps you understand that pattern and change it together.

A woman and man sit back-to-back on a log by a river during sunset. Sara Schramer at Soothing Connections Counseling in St. Charles, IL specializing in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Individual Counseling
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Couples Therapy Sessions & What to Expect

  • Two Chairs to Start Couples Therapy

    Session 1: Together

    We begin together.
    This first session focuses on understanding your relationship, how you met, what has worked, and where you feel stuck.

    I’ll also introduce Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) so you understand how we’ll approach our work together.

  • Partner 1 Sitting on Couch to Start Couples Therapy

    Session 2: One Partner

    One partner meets with me individually.

    These sessions allow me to better understand your personal history, attachment experiences, and emotional patterns that show up in your relationship.

    This helps me support the relationship with depth and clarity.

  • Partner 2 Sitting on Couch to Start Couples Therapy

    Session 3: Next Partner

    The next partner meets with me individually.

    These sessions allow me to better understand your personal history, attachment experiences, and emotional patterns that show up in your relationship.

    This helps me support the relationship with depth and clarity.

  • Both Partners Sitting on Couch to Start Couples Therapy with Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist

    Sessions 4-20+: Together

    Moving forward, sessions are together.

    We focus on:
    -Identifying your negative cycle
    -Slowing down escalation
    -Accessing deeper emotions
    -Expressing needs in ways your partner can respond to
    -Repairing trust and strengthening connection

    The goal is not simply better communication, it is emotional security.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)

What is EFT? What does EFT look like?
How does an EFT therapist work?
What is deescalation?

Creating Safety, Focusing in the Present, and Deepening Emotional Experiences.

Emotionally Focused Therapy is an attachment-based, evidence-based model of couples therapy developed by Dr. Sue Johnson.

Rather than teaching surface level communication techniques, EFT helps couples understand the emotional bond beneath the conflict.

We focus on:

  • The attachment needs driving reactions

  • The cycle that keeps both partners stuck

  • Creating emotional safety

  • Building secure connection

When couples understand their cycle, defensiveness softens.
When vulnerability is met with responsiveness, trust rebuilds.

EFT is structured, intentional, and deeply relational.

Hold Me Tight Events:

https://iceeft.com/hold-me-tight-events/


Research:
https://iceeft.com/eft-research-3/
https://iceeft.com/eft-articles/

Couples Counseling in St. Charles, IL for couple working on marriage to strengthen relationship. Silhouette of a couple dancing on a beach during sunset, with reflections in the water.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
in St. Charles, IL

Couples Therapy is for partners, whether married or unmarried, early in the relationship or many years into the relationship. Couples Therapy is intended for issues relating to a relationship.

You can choose Couples Therapy for strengthening your relationship, managing conflict issues, improving communication, or addressing long standing patterns. There are a variety of reasons for starting Couples Therapy.

I take an attachment approach to Couples Therapy, specifically using Emotionally Focused Therapy. This style goes deeper to understand what is driving the root causes of issues. I help partners to understand their own roles in their couples dynamic and “cycle” pattern so that they are able to not only address difficulties in therapy, but eventually while at home together.

It is a passion of mine to help partners build connection, repair connection, and reconnect throughout their relationship journey. Our partner has the ability to be our best Soothing Connection, if we take time to create the safety and security we need. I very much enjoy helping partners to do this in therapy.

If you have any questions about if Couples Therapy is a good fit for you, please reach out.

*Couples Therapy is offered in person at the St. Charles Office location

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A couple sitting on a rooftop at sunset with glowing candles around them and a cityscape in the background. Sara Schramer at Soothing Connections Counseling in St. Charles, IL specializing in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Individuals

Is Couples Therapy Right for You?

Many couples seek therapy for different reasons, including:

  • Strengthening emotional intimacy and connection

  • Improving communication and resolving misunderstandings

  • Navigating conflicts and recurring relationship patterns

  • Rebuilding trust after betrayals or emotional injuries

  • Managing life transitions, such as marriage, parenthood, or career changes

  • Addressing emotional distance or feelings of disconnection

If you and your partner are struggling with these challenges, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) can help.

My Approach: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)

At Soothing Connections Counseling, Sara Schramer, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, takes an attachment-based approach to couples therapy, specifically using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). This evidence-based model helps partners:

  • Identify and understand the deeper emotions driving conflicts

  • Recognize and break negative relationship cycles

  • Strengthen emotional safety and trust

  • Improve communication and express needs effectively

  • Foster deeper connection and intimacy

Through EFCT, I guide partners to recognize their roles within their relationship dynamic and develop the skills to navigate challenges, not only in sessions, but also in daily life at home.

Building a Secure and Lasting Connection

Relationships require ongoing care and attention, and it’s my passion to help couples:

  • Build connection – Deepen emotional understanding and intimacy

  • Repair connection – Heal past wounds and strengthen trust

  • Reconnect – Cultivate long-term emotional security and resilience

Your partner can be your greatest source of comfort and support, but that requires creating a safe and secure emotional foundation. My goal is to help you build that foundation so that your relationship can thrive.

In-Person Couples Therapy in St. Charles, IL

I offer in-person couples therapy at Soothing Connections Counseling in St. Charles, IL.

I work with couples from:

  • St. Charles

  • Geneva

  • Batavia

  • Surrounding Fox Valley communities

Sessions are by appointment only.

Ready to Begin? Take the Next Step

If you’re wondering whether couples therapy is the right next step, I invite you to reach out.

You don’t have to keep navigating this alone.
Change happens when both partners feel safe enough to be seen and that is something we can build together.

Couples Issues

Couples Connecting Using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

  • Communication
    Conflict
    Disconnection
    Affairs
    Escalation
    Insecurity issues
    Damaged trust
    Ruptures
    Repairs

  • Anxious attachment
    Avoidant attachment
    Different attachment styles
    Pursuing strategies
    Withdrawing strategies
    Building attachment security
    Coregulation
    Avoidance
    Distancing

  • Connection
    Coregulation
    Support
    Communication