Connection Resources
Empathy vs. Sympathy by Brene Brown
Learn the difference of Empathy vs. Sympathy and why it matters in relationships.
It’s NOT about the Nail
Learning how to listen in ways that connect to your partner, children, and loved ones.
Connecting Couples through the Holidays
Holidays are a common time for hiccups and hangups for couples. Navigating Family of Origin (the families we grew up in), traditions, new traditions, and more can really create some challenging dynamics.
This series is a tool to help couples begin conversations around setting a good foundation. This series, used in partnership to Emotionally Focused Therapy, can be a helpful combination for experiencing more meaningful connection during the holidays (or any events)!
Connecting Couples
on Vacation
Vacations are a time where couples can experience some disconnects in the before, during, and after. This series helps couples intentionally focus on both partners’ needs and wants to make for the best vacation experience possible.
This series, used in partnership to Emotionally Focused Therapy, can be a helpful combination for experiencing more meaningful connection during vacations and time off.
Pursuers & Withdrawers
Understanding Pursuers and Withdrawers in EFT Couples Therapy
One of the most helpful ways to begin understanding Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) is by learning about the two most common relationship patterns: pursuing and withdrawing.
To make this easier, I’ve included two short and engaging videos by Chad and Angela Imhoff (The Real Imhoffs) that help illustrate these dynamics:
“The Basics” Episode 3: Pursuers in EFT Couples Therapy
This video explains the role of the pursuer—the partner who often seeks closeness, asks questions, or pushes for connection when they sense distance. You’ll see how a pursuer’s drive for reassurance comes from a place of longing for safety and emotional closeness, even if it sometimes comes across as criticism or pressure.
“The Basics” Episode 4: Withdrawers in EFT Couples Therapy
This episode focuses on the withdrawer—the partner who often steps back, shuts down, or avoids conflict when emotions run high. The video explores how withdrawing is usually a protective response to feeling overwhelmed, and how these partners deeply value harmony, even though their distance may unintentionally create more disconnection.
Together, these videos give a clear and compassionate picture of why couples get stuck in these cycles and how EFT helps each partner feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe again.
It’s important to remember that pursuer and withdrawer are not fixed labels or flaws to use against yourself or your partner.
Instead, they describe protection strategies, patterns we’ve learned to cope with moments of emotional uncertainty or disconnection.
A “pursuing protection strategy” reflects the effort to reach for closeness when things feel unsteady, while a “withdrawing protection strategy” reflects the effort to create safety by stepping back.
These strategies are not rigid or permanent; they are simply tendencies that develop over time and can shift as safety and connection grow in the relationship.